Thursday, June 17, 2010

Hard Day

Today is a hard day. I would be 12 weeks along and that's a pretty big milestone in pregnancies. Last night, Nick and I watched one of our favorite movies, Couples Retreat, for the 10th time. We were able to laugh and have a good time. (GREAT movie, by the way) Then I crawled in bed and just started crying. It was frustrating because I couldn't identify what triggered the emotions, they came from no where. I'm sure that it will happen again, but maybe next time I won't be so surprised by the tears. I'm 90% recovered from the D&C and like I've admitted before, I'm not ready to recover because I'm really not ready to move on. But, I know that it's time. We will never forget what we've been through, but we will move on and heal.

There's an old hymn that I love singing when I'm down. I printed out the words and taped them to my desk. When I'm sad, reading them really helps. The words are:

’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to take Him at His Word;
Just to rest upon His promise,
And to know, “Thus says the Lord!”

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust Him more!

O how sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to trust His cleansing blood;
And in simple faith to plunge me
Neath the healing, cleansing flood!
Yes, ’tis sweet to trust in Jesus,

Just from sin and self to cease;
Just from Jesus simply taking
Life and rest, and joy and peace.

I’m so glad I learned to trust Thee,
Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;
And I know that Thou art with me,
Wilt be with me to the end.

How great is that? It IS so sweet to trust Jesus! You know Jeremiah 29:11; God promises us that He has plans for us, plans of hope and of a future. I want those things, so I'm going to trust Him to give them to me. I think he knows what He's doing; He did create me after all. :) I hope you find sweetness in trusting Jesus!


  1. Julie, you are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. Nobody should ever expect to recover 100% from something like this. The way I see it, you don't recover so much as you renew. This experience absolutely does and should change you. You've been through something you never thought you'd be through and that will make you different. Give yourself permission to be different. It's okay. It sounds like you have an amazing family who will love you through emotional times. They will accept little changes that happen. Like your hymn says, you trust in Jesus. Trust him to put these little changes in place and to make sure they are okay.

    You're in my prayers!

  2. Julie you are such an inspiration to me. I love you and I hope you are having a fabulous time in Florida soaking up the rays! I awarded you a blogging award today...check out my blog!